Balanced

The path to high self-esteem, self-compassion and self-love begins with self-acceptance. When we are self-accepting, we are able to embrace all facets of ourselves, the highs and the lows, the strengths and weaknesses, our flaws and failures and any perceived limitations. When we stop judging ourselves, when we are able to accept ourselves just as we are, we are then able to love ourselves, and thus others. So often, we live in the future, striving for more so that we forget to live in the present moment. We have come up with some definition of “success,” what that may mean to us, and what society tells us, through media, what that might look like. We may constantly be seeking more.  What would happen if you shifted your mind from future thinking to present thinking, and the knowing that you are exactly where you need to be at this very moment in your life? What would happen if you knew, without a doubt, that you are enough, that you are valuable exactly as you are? Self-acceptance...

I’ve become a bit of an expert on sleep. Why? Because for my entire life, I’ve struggled to get a good night’s rest. But sleep is a funny thing, the more you chase it, the more elusive it becomes. So I’ve mostly learned to just let go. Do I always sleep well? Maybe not every night, but more often than not I do, and that’s saying something. I was first introduced to the practice of mindfulness because I had trouble sleeping. I was just a kid struggling with insomnia, and found my own way to deal with it. I discovered that counting my breaths quieted my mind enough to fall asleep. That’s mindfulness, that’s being in the present moment, I just didn’t have a name for it back then. The importance of sleep cannot be overstated. After just 24 hours without it, your eyes begin to have trouble focusing, then you lose the ability to identify objects by touch. By day three, you become uncoordinated. Sleep deprivation can lead to memory problems, hallucinations, increased risk of stroke and ...

Let’s talk about stress because, well, you know, 2020. Stress may be at an all time high right now, and even the most seasoned meditators are feeling it. Between the pandemic, the almost inconceivable and sudden loss of my son, some emergency room visits for my husband and now a wildfire near my home (and all this in the past month), my practice has become even more important to my wellbeing. Stress can manifest itself in a number of ways, effecting your body, mind, emotions and behavior. You may experience frequent headaches, fatigue or breathlessness. You may worry or have trouble concentrating, have trouble sleeping or be restless. Anger, anxiety and depression are common during periods of high stress. And those effects have an impact on your entire body. You go into “flight, fight or freeze” mode, signaling your body to release adrenaline and cortisol, also known as the stress hormones. These hormones make your heart beat fast, raise your blood pressure, change your digestive proce...

I’m not one of those “do as I say, not as I do” kind of people. For instance if I’m going to teach meditation, I better be keeping a regular practice myself. And I do, almost always, at least once a day (ok, not always so good when traveling). So when I taught a six week course in meditation, and I included using journaling as a form of meditation, I added it to my own practice. It was never something I used in the past, not enough time, not feeling creative, don’t see the benefits, yadda, yadda. Since then, I’ve become a believer. Do I journal everyday? Nope, sometimes not even every week. But when I do, I reap the rewards of a clearer mind, self-reflection and self-discovery. I believe journaling is a form of meditation because it keeps you in the moment. Sure you may be writing about past events, or even what your plans for the future are, but that connection to your thoughts, those observations are what keep you present. That’s why it’s important when journaling to allow those ...

I am blessed to live in one of the most beautiful areas on earth. Travelers from all over build up their savings to take that trip of a lifetime to Yosemite National Park, just a short drive for me. When I’m in particular need of healing, the woods is where I go. The sounds of the breeze blowing through the treetops, water tumbling over rocks, the sights and smells of all that surrounds me is soothing. And it is more than that, something that is unseen, unheard that reaches into my soul. When I’m out in the forest, I can just stop thinking, quieting my mind and bringing me peace. As naturalist John Burroughs so aptly said, “I go to nature to be soothed and healed and to have my senses put in order.” The nurturing effect of nature spans both physical and emotional healing. Numerous studies reveal that within minutes of being outdoors, surrounded by nature, you experience less stress as measured by muscle tension, blood pressure and brain activity. Memory performance and attention span i...

It seems to me that, as a society, anxiety is at an all time high. This is certainly to be expected, what with all that's happening in the world right now. Symptoms of anxiety may manifest both physically and emotionally. Tempers are short, irritability is high, many people find it difficult to be motivated or to focus, sleep troubles are more common and we are more isolated from our family and friends.  Anxiety is just one emotion that commonly arises during your meditation, and don’t be surprised when any emotion surfaces. Even in the best of times, it’s understandable, when we are sitting in silence and totally focused on our inner world, that these different emotions come out, often times in some very creative ways, much like what happens in our dreams. You're not doing anything wrong, it's just your mind being human. It's what we as humans do, so be kind and patient with yourself, and be thankful for opportunity it gives you to deepen your practice. So what do you ...

In the South African tradition of Ubuntu, “I am, because we are.” We are human only through the humanity of others. That is to say, we exist because we are part of the larger community of humankind, and the actions of each of us affects the larger community as a whole. It came to global attention when Archbishop Desmond Tutu made Ubuntu a key component of his Truth and Reconciliation Commission following the end of apartheid in 1991, and it couldn’t be more relevant today. This to me, this is what community is all about. Community, human connection is what I call one of the four building block of happiness (along with mindfulness, movement and nutrition) and our sense of happiness is inextricably tied to our sense of belonging.  In the U.S., we put great emphasis on individuality, and in the building of our country, it served us well. We were independent, self reliant, strong and assertive and that’s what allowed us to break ties with the mother country. And in the ensuing years, t...

I came across this poem recently that really spoke to what is important to me at this time in my life. It became the inspiration of a recent meditation and I want to share that poem with you now. An Invitation to Brave Space By Micky ScottBey Jones Together we will create brave space Because there is no such thing as a “safe space” We exist in the real world We all carry scars and we have all caused wounds. In this space We seek to turn down the volume of the outside world, We amplify voices that fight to be heard elsewhere, We call each other to more truth and love We have the right to start somewhere and continue to grow. We have the responsibility to examine what we think we know. We will not be perfect. This space will not be perfect. It will not always be what we wish it to be But It will be our brave space together, and We will work on it side by side. In a world in need of justice and equality and fairness, the world needs you to be courageous. We are facing challenges that requ...

Often times, the topic for Thursday Night Mindfulness Meditation Group reflects where I’m at in my life. Last Thursday, the topic was boredom. Does anyone besides me find boredom creeping in more than usual these days?  When I prepare for my meditation group, I usually start by looking for an online meditation script that I can use as a jumping off point, then I sort of tailor it to fit my group and my style.  Well, that just wasn’t happening this time. Boredom, it seems, is not a common topic for meditation. It should be. Meditation, in and of itself, can lead to feelings of boredom. So, I did what I always do when I start from scratch, I sat with it. Jon Kabat-Zinn says “When you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting.” Interestingly, as I sat, meditating on boredom, I found that to be absolutely true. So settle in, get comfortable, and enjoy a little boredom. The Meditation Start by connecting with your breath. Notice where you first feel your breath, ma...

As a graphic designer, my work load has definitely been impacted by the coronavirus. Associations I do work for are having to cancel meetings, and that means all the associated design work is cancelled. Businesses have less income to use for marketing. The flip side of that is, I have time to tend to what I love. So, my blog, which I have ignored for two years, is seeing a re-birth.   So, I was going through some of my old posts and came across this little gem . In it, I address the idea of reducing your dependence on animal products and processed foods. I’m a vegan, so I would love to see you eliminate animal products, but understand that people need to take small steps. I go on to say that there is one food that I strongly suggest you eliminate and that is sugar. UGH! At the time I had been sugar free for 7 months.   That was back in 2017. Somewhere in between then and now, I fell of the wagon and ain’t nothing pretty down that road. Sugar really is highly addictive.   ...

In mindfulness meditation groups, I often talk about self-care. Self-care, while it may sound selfish, is one of the most selfless things you can do. As you take care of yourself, you are able to care for others, and for mother earth. When we talk about self-care, or self-love or self-compassion, we’re talking about those things you need to feed your body, mind and soul. We’re talking about being kind to yourself, just as you are kind to others. We often times make excuses why we don’t practice self-care. Time for instance, is often used as an excuse. We don’t seem to have enough of it. Stoicsm is an ancient Greek school of philosophy about self-control and inner peace, and included followers such as Marcus Aurelius and Seneca. One of the lessons from the stoics is to wake up early. Take these moments before the rest of the world awakens to have quiet time to be by yourself. In modern terms, that means don’t look at your emails, or the news. Take some time to journal or meditate or jus...

I n a recent Thursday Night Mindfulness Meditation Group that meets via Zoom, the subject of peaceful activism came up - how do we stay peaceful while working to bring about societal change? My meditation for that evening was on dealing with anger, so it was a natural segue. Anger is common these days, and while it's a natural emotion and okay to be angry, what's not okay is letting anger control you. When you spiral in to a rage, hurting yourself or those around you, you are letting your emotions be in charge. That's where mindfulness meditation helps. The practice of observing our thoughts before reacting allows us to respond in a healthy way. History is filled with peace activists from the well-known like Gandhi, Malala Yousafzai (the youngest Nobel Peace Prize recipient at age 17) and the Dalai Lama, to the lesser-known like Jane Addams, Nobel Peace Prize recipient in 1931, the first national chairman of the Women's Peace Party  in 1915 and president/founding member...

I secretly hold a desire to open a food truck and I’ve even picked a name – “Bowl Me Over”. Every item on the menu would be a variation on Buddha Bowls, those satisfying meals that are like a giant bowl of yummy goodness. Okay, the secret’s out, so if anyone steals my idea, be sure to at least name a menu item after me. Buddha bowls are quick & easy to prepare and come in as many variations as your imagination will allow. And they’re super healthy for you! We have them at least once a week for dinner and use the leftovers at least once a week for lunch. Traditionally, it’s a vegan dish, but feel free to add a small amount of meat if you wish. Here’s the basic recipe: Start with a base of a grain: Brown Rice, Quinoa, Amaranth, Barley, Buckwheat Groats, Bulgur, Farro, Millet Add roasted potatoes: Sweet, Russet, Red, White, Purple, etc. Add roasted veggies: Broccoli, Cauliflower, Brussells Sprouts, Carrots, Mushrooms, Onions, Asparagus, Tomatoes, Roasted Green or Red Cabb...

Show of hands, how many of you want to see peace in the world? Raise them high. We all do, right?  Now, how many of you think that world peace is possible? No? I completely believe world peace is possible, it’s what drives me to do the work I do. In our lifetime? Perhaps not, but totally do-able. There’s an old Greek proverb that goes something like this: “A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit under.” Do the work knowing that future generations may see peace. It’s my belief, indeed my knowing, that sustainable peace begins with each of us. When we are at peace with ourselves, we have the capacity to bring peace out to the world. In many parts of our world, and in many parts of our country today, it is next to impossible to find that peace. Survival becomes the focus – how to keep my family safe, how to provide for my family. So, for those of us who lead a life of privilege, it’s even more important to find our own personal p...

Recently, we’ve been getting a container of blueberries in our Ooooby box . I imagine the strawberry stands are popping up in the valley. While my Ooooby blueberries are eaten by themselves (the better to savor them), it got me thinking about berries! Here’s an easy, healthy, yummy dessert to take advantage of those berries. Topping: ½ cup mixed raw nuts, chopped (I use almonds, walnuts and pecans) ¼ cup mixed raw seeds (I use pumpkin, sunflower and hemp hearts) ½ cup rolled oats ¼ cup shredded dried coconut (unsweetened) 2 tbsp maple syrup Pinch of salt 2 tbsp coconut oil, melted & cooled slightly Filling: 3 cups mixed berries, fresh or frozen (you can include peaches too) 2 tbsp maple syrup ½ tsp ground cinnamon 2 tsp lemon juice 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 tsp arrowroot flour Pinch of salt Directions Preheat oven to 375° F and lightly grease a 10inch square glass baking dish with coconut oil. Set aside. In medium bowl, combine all the crisp toppin...

My Thursday Night Mindfulness Meditation group proved that yes, meditation can be fun! Throughout March, we were treated to a few guest meditators sharing different meditation techniques. There are many, many different types and I always encourage people to try several until you find one that works for you. Decide your reason for meditating – is it to quiet the mind? Is it for self-enquiry? Is it to connect with spirit/God/source? – then find the one that best suits you. Most types of meditation use an object of focus to stay centered. In mindfulness meditation, for instance, your object of focus is your breath. As your mind starts to become active, you bring your focus back to your breath. This is how you quiet your mind. Here are some other objects of focus. Music Music is the universal language.  When music is played, it enters your soul and no other communication is needed.  The notion of combining music and meditation is a very recent one.  Music was not ...

My mother had a strong network of friends. She was the social one of my parents. My dad used to say that when she went into a grocery store, she would walk out with three new friends. She knew the importance of community. My dad, not so much. More likely, when he wasn’t working, you’d find him in his workshop, putting together his newest project, or building some new thing my mom came up with. He cherished my mom, so he was pulled into her influence and had an active social life as well. All that changed when mom got in a car accident on the highway and never left the hospital. They had been married over forty years and dad seemed … lost. I was fairly young at the time, in my early 30s, and lived about 7 hours away and my siblings were no closer, so we weren’t there to offer our support and keep him busy. He worked for a time at the local grocery store in the small town where he lived, but soon developed colon cancer, had surgery and quit working. In the meantime, I moved out ...

What’s the first question people ask when they find out I’m a vegan? Go ahead, take a wild guess. Yep, that’s right, “but, where do you get your protein?” they ask. Before I answer that, let me ask you something. Have you ever met anyone here in the United States that has protein deficiency? I’ve only met one person who had protein deficiency in the past, because she had a condition that didn’t allow  her body to properly absorb protein, but that’s under control now. Other than that, nope, no one. Protein is used by our body for repair and maintenance of body tissue and energy and helps fight infection, illness and disease by producing antibodies. So where do I get my protein? Well, if you think back to high school biology class, proteins are pretty much the building blocks of cells and occur in all living things, including plants and animals. Now, how much we need is up for debate, but for the sake of argument I’m going to use the U.S. Department of Agriculture figure of ....

Disclaimer: The photo you are now seeing is not me, only a lithe, more graceful me that appears in my dreams from time to time. Last month, I challenged my self to try a new type of movement every month for three months. March was to be Tai Chi, something I always wanted to try. I’ll let you know how it went in a minute, but first I wanted to share a little about myself. I was a good student. I loved to read, always did well in the spelling bee and hung out with other nerds.  In high school, I was always competing against two other students for top honors in algebra. But, there’s one thing I sucked at:  PE. Want proof? I was de-cluttering the other day and found this: It’s an copy of one of my actual report cards from Hickory Elementary School in Torrance, California.  Pay particular attention to the forth quarter. All A’s and B’s except one stinking C in … Physical Education. And what’s with the C in effort? I must have conveniently forgotten that music wasn’...

Social networks. New scientific evidence suggests it’s one of the most important sources of happiness. Our connections with others shape who we are and is a prediction of our satisfaction with life. Evolution has made us good at connecting with others and given us a desire to form those connections. You can instantly see the importance of connection in the bond that forms between a mother and her new born child, and in the negative effects when that bond is not formed for whatever reason. Connection with others is what gives us meaning and purpose. What researchers have discovered is that overall, the happiest people tend to have rich and satisfying relationships and that points to evidence that social connections lead to high levels of happiness. That doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy when you’re alone, and as an introvert and can confirm that. It’s just that, even for us introverts, too much time alone does not contribute to your happiness, another fact I can confirm. As a c...