Shifting to a Mindset of Self-Acceptance

The path to high self-esteem, self-compassion and self-love begins with self-acceptance. When we are self-accepting, we are able to embrace all facets of ourselves, the highs and the lows, the strengths and weaknesses, our flaws and failures and any perceived limitations. When we stop judging ourselves, when we are able to accept ourselves just as we are, we are then able to love ourselves, and thus others.

So often, we live in the future, striving for more so that we forget to live in the present moment. We have come up with some definition of “success,” what that may mean to us, and what society tells us, through media, what that might look like. We may constantly be seeking more. 

What would happen if you shifted your mind from future thinking to present thinking, and the knowing that you are exactly where you need to be at this very moment in your life? What would happen if you knew, without a doubt, that you are enough, that you are valuable exactly as you are?

Self-acceptance helps us to feel good about ourselves, with all our flaws, mistakes and failures. When we release self-judgment, we can accept all facets of who we are, unconditionally. Our self-worth is not based on our what others think of us, or our accomplishments, or what we’ve acquired, and we release the pressure to feel like we have to constantly fix ourselves or acquire more.

So how do you achieve self-acceptance? Well, like anything else worthwhile, it will take time, practice and dedication. Negative self-talk may have been something you’ve nurtured throughout your entire life, maybe even having gone by unnoticed by you. We are often our own worst critics. Something that ingrained will not go away overnight. Here are some ways to help you along your path to self acceptance:

• Throughout your day take time to notice when you are judging yourself. For example, you are quick to anger when someone cuts you off in traffic. Does that mean you’re an angry person? No, it just means you feel angry at this moment.
• Let go of any expectations of yourself. During your meditation practice, are you thinking about if you’re doing it right, or you should be doing it this way or that way? Let go of those judgments that it should be a certain way and just stay in the present moment. I know, easier said than done. And I’m here to tell you, that happens to all of us and it gets easier with regular meditation practice. So don’t judge your ability to meditate and don’t expect it to go a certain way.
• Accept imperfections in yourself. Let go of what you envision “perfection” to look like. You are perfectly imperfect just the way you are.
• Know that mistakes and failures lead to growth, and forgive yourself. We’ve all heard the story that Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Learn from failures as well as successes.