Finding Your Personal Peace

Show of hands, how many of you want to see peace in the world? Raise them high. We all do, right?  Now, how many of you think that world peace is possible? No?

I completely believe world peace is possible, it’s what drives me to do the work I do. In our lifetime? Perhaps not, but totally do-able.

There’s an old Greek proverb that goes something like this: “A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit under.” Do the work knowing that future generations may see peace.

It’s my belief, indeed my knowing, that sustainable peace begins with each of us. When we are at peace with ourselves, we have the capacity to bring peace out to the world. In many parts of our world, and in many parts of our country today, it is next to impossible to find that peace. Survival becomes the focus – how to keep my family safe, how to provide for my family. So, for those of us who lead a life of privilege, it’s even more important to find our own personal peace so that we can share that with others.

Finding personal peace is really a lifelong journey, so where do you start? Well, start with where you’re at. What are you currently doing to live a more peace-centered life? What actions are you taking towards that peace? How are you responding to current events? Are you mindful of your words and actions?

What specific steps can you take to find your own personal peace? Of course, meditation is what I go to first. Quieting one’s mind allows you to listen more, and that’s o ne thing that’s missing from our society, the ability to listen, to really hear each other. And there are also many other ways:

• Practice breathing techniques for stress and anxiety relief
• Get out in nature
• Find your purpose
• Find work/play balance in your life
• Create art
• Practice mindful movement such as yoga or tai chi
• Be an active member of your community
• Do good
• Simplify your life
• Take care of the environment
• Create a sense of awe
• Become more resilient
• Listen to soothing music
• Laugh and have fun often
• Do things that bring your joy like spending time with friends and family
• Become more compassionate

Let’s take a closer look at compassion. What do I mean by compassion?

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” You can also say that it’s the feeling that comes up when you see someone suffer and you feel like you want to relieve that suffering.

In meditation, there’s a practice called lovingkindness or metta meditation. It’s part of the Buddhist tradition, and, while I don’t identify as Buddhist, it’s my favorite meditation. In it, you send messages for a happy,  healthy, safe, peaceful life to yourself, your loved ones, acquaintances, difficult people (some say your enemies) and to the entire world. The idea is that we all want these things, and some people don’t know how to go about achieving it or don’t know that that even looks like. But wouldn’t it be a peaceful world if we all had these things? This is the meditation of compassion.

You’ll notice that in metta meditation, we start with ourselves. It’s important to practice self-compassion, to quiet the inner critic, then you can begin to connect with the humanness of others.

Now, for those of you who have never, and quite possibly will never, meditate, how do you develop this sense of compassion? Here are some suggestions:

• Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Everyone you meet has a story and we’re all just doing the best we can under our own circumstances
• Remember how connected we all are. We share 99.9% of the same DNA. When you strip away the color of our skin, the shape of our eyes, our life’s circumstances, our beliefs, our physical ability, who we love and on and on, we’re really all the same. Ram Dass said “We’re all just walking each other home.” To me this means we’re all in this together, we are all dependent on each other to get through life.
• Practice kindness, while still practicing self-care. The Dalai Lama said “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” And when you see him in photos or interviews, you know he practices just that.
• Let go of judgment. Don’t label people – right/wrong, good/evil, etc. Remember that life is hard and we’re all just doing the best we can.
• Listen will all your heart. When you listen, do so without judgment, without distraction, without interruption. Be fully present, no checking your phone or otherwise multi-tasking. Make eye contact. You might find you have more in common with those difficult people (your enemies) than you think. If someone “calls you out,” don’t get defensive, be ready to learn instead.
• Get rid of the baggage that you carry with you from your past. As we hold on to the trauma, we tend to traumatize others. We can’t be at peace when we keep reliving past hurts.
• Take care of your self through healthy habits – diet, exercise, good quality sleep, enjoying time with others and and, of course, meditation.

I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed by all of this. Remember to look at the big picture and just bring an awareness of compassion into your life. It’s not difficult, you don’t have to make changes all at once. Just notice, and plant a few trees that you may never sit under.