Never Underestimate the Power of Community

Archbishop Desmond Tutu once said, “The truth of who we are is that we are, because we belong.”

The importance of social connections has really come into focus in the science community recently. And I’m not talking the Facebook kind of connections, I mean real face-to-face connections with real people.

What researchers have found over and over is that our connections to others are instrumental, essential even, to our happiness. Social interactions rank right up there with your smoking/drinking habits as one of the most important predictors of longevity. It is one reason why women live longer in our country – women tend to have closer social networks, or what I like to call tribes, that they cultivate over lifetimes.

Our tribes include our close relationships (spouses, family and others whom you call on in a crunch) as well as our social integration (how much you interact with people, the groups you belong to, people you interact with on daily basis). And social media contact not the same. Again, I ‘m talking the real face-to-face, in person contact with real people.

This kind of contact, science is finding, releases the neurotransmitters that reduce stress, kill pain and induce pleasure. There is an increase in the feel good hormones like dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin (which also plays a role in social interaction and bonding) and a decrease in stress hormones like cortisol. The lowest rates of dementia are found in those that are socially engaged.

Your tribe can be your spiritual/religious community, a service club you belong to, a healthy eating group, a hiking group, a book club, you name it. The idea is to find a group or groups with shared HEALTHY interests and interact regularly. Likewise be sure to interact with the people that serve you coffee or the clerk at your gas station, or any of the other places you frequent regularly.

I wanted to touch briefly on Introverts vs. Extroverts because that’s a subject of particular interest to me, as an introvert. Oftentimes extroverts think that we introverts do not want to interact with others or that we’re shy, or aloof, or snobbish. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, we just find large groups of people overwhelming, but we love to share in small groups. That said, for you introverts, it can be easy to just hole up in your home or office all day. I know for me, I could turn into a hermit if I’m not careful. But the tribe thing applies to us too. So go to lunch with a friend, join a book club, just be sure to be around others regularly. It doesn’t have to be in a big crowd, just enjoy face-to-face interactions with a few good friends.

Bottom line: Build and sustain your tribe. You’re happiness depends on it.